I Will Not Disappear
by shukaku
Summary: It's the chunin exams when Sasuke comes back, the Hokage cares but Gaara really, really doesn't. What will happen when Sasuke says he's staying? What happens to the once perfect family they had worked so hard to create? *this story is also on ao3 under the same title*
1. Chapter 1

_I don't want to do this_

_I can't do this_

He stared across the destroyed landscape he glanced to see the villagers, his teammates, his sensei everyone who was precious to him, and the enemy who was the most precious of all. This wasn't him, the creature that stood hunched over, screaming, the Hokage didn't know how to pursue this, he'd tried stalling, and driving the monster out, but he wasn't a monster, not to him, he was his hero, his most admired of companions, how was he supposed to win this? Torn between love for your village and love for the person you've spent your days with, preparing coffee and teaching the basics of the importance of ramen, and their sons, how was he supposed to choose? He felt the tears burn his eyes, the fear in the eyes of the villagers, even his old teammates who seemed so fearless to him, shaking where they stood. He wiped the tears that had fallen, he was their leader he couldn't let them see him break, and he was the best of all shinobi he had to protect his people even if it meant destroying the one he loved, he swallowed the lump of doubt in his throat, nodding to only himself as if he were ready, he would never be ready for this. He shut his eyes, willing his chakra to his right hand, all he could muster, he felt it flow through him and he couldn't fight the tears this time, letting them flow freely as he opened his eyes, the face of the enemy staring at him, snarling like he was a wild animal, when only this morning he set down his coffee, kissed their sons head and wished him luck at the training he was taking with Kakashi, holding their other son on his hip as he sipped his coffee smiling as he sent the other of with a kiss telling him to do his best today. Naruto had smiled into the kiss and told him he would as he left. He didn't know what changed, or how it was so great it caused the transformation but he had to do this, to stop the final step in the transformation, for his people and his love, he didn't want this, the Hokage knew that. They'd stayed up many a nights discussing this very outcome, how the other had said he wouldn't hold a grudge if he had to be killed to save the village, he wasn't even from this village and he loved it, no one treated him like a monster, like he didn't matter, he didn't have to be alone anymore.

"I'm sorry." Fell from his lips as he began to build up his chakra, running towards the person he loved most with intent to kill. His heart twisted in so many ways, a cry escaping his lips as he grabbed at his wrist, forcing his hand down as he ran. Please I'm so sorry.

"Stop!"

He almost wasn't fast enough to stop, jerking his knees, probably dislocating one of them as he halted, he opened his eyes too afraid to walk as he would have hurt the one he loves. There with a head full of the blood red hair he'd grown so used to, stood in front of his father, kunai in hand, facing the monster that raised him.

"Don't hurt him dad." He murmured quietly, as he glanced up, the Hokage felt his chakra leave his hand as he watched, stepping back trying not to stumble, and he didn't want to lose them both.

"Misaki, please." Naruto had reached out a hand ready to grab his son back.

"He's my dad, I'll fix him." Misaki said sadly. Naruto knew a kunai would do nothing against Gaara, not in the state, not in his regular state; he was one of the strongest men Naruto knew. He watched as his son dropped the weapon and reached forward, wrapping his arms around the sand that had formed around his father's body.

"Dad, please!" He screamed, loud enough even for Gaara, who was lost to Shukaku. Naruto watched, hands tightening into fists as he was halted, stuck on the spot as he had no choice but watch, watch as the clawed arm was tightened around his sons body, listened to the screaming as the sand began to crack, the blood began to seep through their sons clothing where the claws had punctured, but he didn't cry, he didn't scream he clenched his teeth willing his father to stop. The sand fell, his skin cracked; he screamed loudly pushing his son away as he collapsed to the ground. Naruto regained his movement, quickly going to Gaara's side, his hands flying to the other's face.

"Is Dad going to be okay?" Misaki asked quietly, he'd never seen the transformation and blindly jumped into battle but Naruto was proud, but he needed to take care of Gaara right now.

"The village will be safe because of you Misaki." Naruto whispered before smiling over at his son, who beamed, his parents approval was all he ever wanted. Naruto watched as Misaki made his way over to the villagers, his friends, his classmates, his rivals, he saw all their faces, the look of disgust, and annoyance at his father who had almost destroyed the village, Misaki hated them for that, Gaara couldn't control Shukaku as well as he puts off, Misaki know that why can't they understand that? The villagers liked Gaara, but they were already weary of what could happen.

Naruto let his tears drop onto Gaara's face, quickly wiping them as he reached down for him, his hands searched for something, for anything to know he was going to be okay. He heard some villagers shouting 'Lord Hokage and Naruto' but he didn't care, he couldn't move. One voice got closer until he felt a hand close around his shoulder, quickly glancing back, Sakura and Shikamaru, both with sad smiles on their faces. Naruto looked back to Gaara, his hands sliding across the fabric of Gaara's shirt.

"Come on; let's get him to the medical bay." Sakura nodded as he got up and got onto the other side of Gaara, she knew Naruto could carry him, but was worried if she let him, he wouldn't let him go. She nodded towards Shikamaru who huffed in annoyance before carefully grabbing Naruto's shoulders, Sakura picked Gaara up, Naruto's hands falling off him. He scrambled to follow her, Shikamaru guiding him. The people watched their leader, usually so fearless, with a smile on his face always, looking so distraught as he passed they bowed their heads. Naruto smiled at them as Sakura began to quicken her pace as more sand began to crumble, Naruto and Shikamaru quickly following.

Misaki watched, ready to follow before someone grabbed his arm; Kakashi. The older man smiled down at him.

"He'll be alright." Kakashi assured. Misaki didn't know which one he was talking about only nodded.

Sakura laid Gaara on one of the free beds in the medical wing, the rest still full from the genin from the second round of the chunin exams, a lot of them were hurt badly and here Sakura took care of them. Now the proctor for the final battles of the exam was here injured, hopefully he would recover in time. Sakura was sure he would, she'd seen this happen before, worst even when they were all taking the chunin exams for the first time, when he was injured he got back up, he would this time, he was stronger he had something to fight for now. Naruto was forced to wait outside, Shikamaru trying to keep him calm as Sakura tried to help.

"You know he'll be alright, he's a lot stronger than most think, he's not some delicate flower just because he's your 'woman'' Shikamaru used hair quotes trying not to get on the bad side of the Hokage.

Naruto stopped being concerned for one second to roll his eyes before glancing back into the room through the window, the sand beginning to rise back up. He sighed loudly, the pain in his gut leaving slowly as he watched each grain of sand. He finally pushed his way inside, the smile returning to his face. Gaara finally cracked one black rimmed eye looking up at Naruto.

"I'm sorry." They both quickly said at the same time.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Naruto assured. Gaara nodded but knew that wasn't the case, the villagers had finally just trusted him, and that had taken almost 12 years. A smile was finally brought to Gaara's lips when Misaki ran into the room, huffing loudly as he came to his father's side.

"Thank you, Misaki." Gaara smiled reaching a hand out to touch his son's cheek."Where's your brother?"

"Are you alright?" He asked ignoring his father's question about Shion, his little brother.

"He's more than alright." Naruto smiled setting his hand down on his son's head, Misaki nodded. He remembers them both saying before the chunin exams to be safe, and now he wondered if he should give them the same lecture.

"Shion is with Tsunade." Misaki finally told them the whereabouts of their son. The both nodded, she was trusted.

"Misaki what are you doing here? You should be training with Kakashi sensei." Naruto smiled, he didn't want this to halt his son's practice. He glanced at Gaara who just nodded with a smile on his face. Naruto watched his son train often, using both his inherited strengths of sand and leaf.

"It's only a week until the finals." Gaara murmured as their son left the room. Sakura listened, her own daughter, who was on Misaki's squad, would be fighting.

"They'll be alright." Naruto smiled, always the positive. Gaara was far more worried, he knew the battles, which his son and the others would be fighting it made him uneasy everyday as he sent their son off in the morning to train with Kakashi, who still had it after all this time.

"Let's go home." Gaara said quickly as he got up. Naruto tried to reach out and slow him down, but he was already on his feet and heading for the door.

"Slow down, will you?" Naruto asked trying to catch up to the other.

"Worried you'll lose me?" Gaara asked as monotone as ever. Naruto smirked as he approached behind him, one arm wrapping around Gaara's neck as the other wrapped around his waist pulling him back. He didn't care that he got a mouthful of hair as he buried his face into Gaara's neck.

"I was really worried." He murmured.

"You shouldn't have been, I had everything under control." Gaara shrugged, his fingers ghosting over the raised veins in Naruto's hands. Naruto just nodded, tightening his grip around the other man, needing to keep him here, keep him alive and by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaara was fine and the stares he kept getting were unnecessary at best, Naruto assured him he was seeing things, but he held Shion just a bit closer to him whenever he left their home. The morning of the final rounds, Gaara was up first or so he thought, he was mistaken when he made his way downstairs, and Misaki sitting by the door pulling his sandals on. Gaara eyed his own sand gourd that was propped against the wall. He smiled as he lifted his hand, the sand rising to his will, collecting under the boy and raising him from the floor. Misaki barely even reacted, just glancing at his father before continuing what he was doing. Gaara stilled his hand, the sand and his son falling to the ground, he smirked at the scowl he received and told his son to be sharp on his feet. He made his way over to Misaki, kneeling beside him and placing a hand on his shoulder, fingers pressing a little too hard.

"Wait for your father." He said before getting up and making his way into the kitchen, any second now Naruto would come down the stairs with Shion in his arms. Gaara turned the kettle on, although he tried to get Naruto to eat healthy he'd state he was the Hokage and could eat ramen for breakfast all he wanted. As if on cue Naruto came barreling down the steps of their home, already dressed with Shion clinging to him like his life depended on it. Shion had the same blonde hair Naruto did, for this Gaara was grateful, unlike Shion Misaki had the same piercing red hair he did, and the initial reaction from people used to be fear, when he was little not to mention his father was the shinobi of the sand that in itself called for concern, but as he grew, he became loved by all in the village, he was kind and helpful and always listened when you spoke.

"We'll eat breakfast then we'll all head to the arena." Naruto told the rest of his family as he sat down with Shion in his lap. Gaara pulled the cereal box from its spot in the highest cupboard because 'little children like to spill things everywhere' as once stated in their house. Misaki huffed.

"I'm not hungry." He murmured as he sat down beside his father at the table, his little brother reaching out for him with drool covered fingers. Misaki just side eyed him and cringed, he was so like Gaara sometimes it worried him.

"Nerves won't keep your stomach full." Gaara said softly setting the box on the table before getting two bowls. Naruto got up, holding Shion on his hip as he grabbed the last package of ramen from the cupboard, his groaned filling the room. Gaara rolled his eyes and went to sit across from Misaki at the table.

"You'll do great, look who your father is." He turned and saw Naruto fumbling with the ramen package as he held Shion tight. "Okay maybe not, but you're strong Misaki and you'll do great, the nerves won't go away I remember my first chunin exam, I was terrified."

"You tried to kill Lee in cold blood." Naruto chirped from where he stood.

"I'll kill you in cold blood if you interrupt my speech again." Gaara stared at his hands before glancing back up at his son, who a look of 'oh god my parents are so creepy' look and Gaara understood, Naruto was odd.

"If it makes you feel any better, I am the proctor for the final round; I can step in if anything happens." He smiled, as Misaki nodded colour returning to his cheeks a little at the reassurance. Naruto juggled the baby and his ramen; probably his two favourite things as he got back to the table, Shion reaching out for Gaara who smiled, he gratefully took their son in his arms.

"You'll have to keep him with you." Gaara glanced over at Naruto. "The battle arena is no place for an infant." Shion gripped his father's red hair in his fingers, sand automatically rising to pry the fingers from his hair, Gaara sighed.

"He'll get the best seat in the house." Naruto smiled, the three minutes finally up as he lifted the lid to the cup of ramen, the steam rising, a smile on his lips. He glanced at Misaki who was pushing his now soggy cereal around his bowl.

"You're going to do great." Naruto said without even turning to his son, they had a strong bond, Naruto always knew when something was wrong. Neither men promised that their son would become a chunin because they couldn't they wanted to but no one knew what the outcomes would be, or how he would fight. They spent nights awake in the last month, both men worrying over the outcome, neither knowing what would happen to their son. He rid himself of the thoughts as Shion shoved his hand into his mouth; Gaara gently pulled his hand away from his face before bringing his sleeve to his mouth to wipe away his son's saliva. Misaki just pushed away his cereal and Naruto watched him, finally finishing his ramen. Gaara shoved his hand into the cereal box and held out the cereal to Shion who grabbed at it to quickly shove it into his mouth.

Misaki waited for his parents and little brother to finally come to the door, where he'd been waiting for almost ten minutes, listening to the two bickering over his little brother's clothing. They finally emerged, Shion in Naruto's arms, Gaara was ahead, placing a hand on Misaki's shoulder as he opened the front door. Misaki felt the nerves coming now, worse than ever, his father kept his head down, a smile on his lips. Naruto watched from behind, with Shion in his arms, the villagers greeting him, only giving Gaara a weary look, he deserved it he knew that but it still bothered him. Naruto finally kept the same walking pace as both Misaki and Gaara, smiling as he walked beside his son. Gaara glanced around, spotting several guards watching them from the rooftops.

The stadium came into view, the doors not yet open, waiting for the Hokage, the spectators all separating so Naruto and his family could walk through, Misaki cringed at all the people, great just what he needed. Gaara didn't like it either, after the cheering for Naruto died down it was all those same weary looks, like he would just attack them now. Naruto was proud, although the three other members of his family hated the cheering; he loved it these people respected him, all he ever wanted had come true. Naruto stopped when he knew Gaara and Misaki would be going in at the lower level doors, while he and Shion went up to sit and watch. He turned to Gaara and Misaki who were already stopped. He smiled as he set his hand on his sons head.

"You'll do great." He murmured. "You'll make us proud no matter what."

Gaara smiled at the two as he got the 'be safe' lecture from Naruto, rolling his eyes before leaning to press a kiss to Shion's head and Naruto's mouth.

"I'll be fine." He whispered against the other mouth before pulling away and letting his hand fall on Misaki's shoulder. "Come on." He smiled as two sets of doors opened, Gaara and Misaki heading into one, Naruto and Shion heading into the other. Naruto took one last glance at the pair before turning on the smile. Gaara walked beside Misaki until they were in the middle of the arena, people started filling in.

"Stand tall Misaki." He told him as the other competitors came over to them, some looking nervous others looking smug, Gaara knew the feeling. Misaki perked up a little when his teammate Aiko Haruno made her way over to him, she looked equally as nervous but kept a smile on her face. Next in were the sand village ninjas and Gaara physically tensed at the symbol on their headbands. The Nara boy made his way in, as well as the Akemi son, Gaara knew all the contenders from the leaf village. He waited as all 8 contenders made their way into the arena, the spectators already cheering, he glanced up to where Naruto sat with the Kazekage, and everything looked so familiar.

"Thank you all for coming!" Naruto started as he stood up, Shion still in his arms. "Welcome to the chunin exams, please don't leave until all matches are over, enjoy."

Gaara turned to the contenders that stood in a line.

"Now these matches are to the death unless one of you admits defeat, or I think it necessary to intervene, there are no rules everyone who is not partaking in the first battle head up there." He pointed to the lower level where they all looked.

"The first match is Aiko Haruno and Chiyoko Etsuko." He read off the paper he had received from Neji who was the proctor of the third round of matches. Gaara watched as the others left, leaving the leaf and sand ninja squaring off already, Gaara made his way to the side, just watching.

"Begin!" His voice boomed echoing throughout the arena. He took his eyes off the two squaring off to glance at Misaki, his fingers wrapped around the bars as he watched his friend down below. The sand ninja was much older and Gaara had wondered how Neji decided this as he watched Aiko be brought to the ground, already, the ninja of the sand using nothing but sheer strength as he stepped onto her back and pulled both her arms back. Gaara watched as her face contorted in pain, his fingers itched as he wanted to do something and he finally did when he heard a loud crack. He quickly collected sand and pushed the other ninja away, medics from the doorway coming in as Gaara kneeled beside her, tears in her eyes as he shook his head before getting up.

"The winner is Chiyoko Etsuko!" He declared to the people. He looked out into the crowd as he spotted Sakura and Ino quickly running down the side stairs. Aiko was lifted away, Gaara raising two fingers to motion for the next too fighters, his son and a fellow ninja from the leaf Hideki Lee, the son of the boy he destroyed when he'd taken the same exams. His heart beat too fast as his son approached, he didn't show any emotion, there wasn't time for that now. He nodded two both boys before stepping out of the way and glancing up at Naruto who couldn't hide his emotions too well as he leaned against the bars, Shion watching with his mouth open before putting his fingers into it. Gaara would have smiled if he hadn't glanced back to his son, looking so small like he needed to be wrapped in his father's arms. He stepped back to allow the battle to begin and he couldn't keep his eyes off his son, watching every move he used, the ones Naruto and Kakashi both taught him. He finally took his eyes of the match only to have them fall upon a member of the ANBU Black Ops, not again, please not again, he glanced around for more there were even less here than when he partook in the chunin exams. The sand formed around him and he disappeared from the arena floor to appear beside the Hokage. He glanced around, concern on his face as he spotted a dark figure just above the stadium.

"Lord Hokage." He addressed him as he glanced around. "Something's not right."

"I know." Naruto murmured. The battle below didn't stop but Gaara wished it would, he needed to direct his attention else where. He saw the figure again and Naruto just waved him off, he had to listen to orders from the Hokage.

Down below Misaki used the Shadow Clone Jutsu his father taught him, all of them running for Hideki in different directions, he heard the people in the crowd cheer for him as he landed a punch on the other boys jaw, his head swinging to the side from the force.  
He was almost out of chakra but Hideki seemed to have an endless amount.

Gaara watched worriedly before he glanced to the entrance, a figure standing there, he shook his head but the figure was still there when he opened them. He didn't care, he needed to figure out what this person wanted, and he started walking, the edges of the battle arena as he approached, and the figure becoming clearer, there were two, a smaller one, a boy even and a man. He knew who it was, he felt a snarl rip from Shukaku's lips, pulsating through his body, hands flying up to grab his head, threading through hair, he lied every time he claimed to have control of this.

"What are you doing here?" Gaara asked the shake in his voice not from nerves.

"I've come to see the Hokage." The man told him, a smirk on his lips.

"Incase you were unaware-"He started, fingers dropping from his hair. "He's a little busy."

"I'm sure he can make time for me." He was so cocky Gaara wanted to strangle him. The sand began to rise around his feet, by instinct to kill alone.

"He has no time for you anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

Gaara's heart twisted in a way he only remembers when he was in that dark lonely place, so many years ago, before Naruto. When he lived in fear everyday someone was ordered to kill him, fear that he would never be loved. He remembers how awful it was, how dark how his heart clenched at the thought of companions, people who could learn to care for him. He would never be that person again, not so long as his family was still alive, only then would he destroy this world, bring it to its knees for taking what he loved, only then, but this person who stood in front of him, with a son with the oddest blue eyes, he could if he tried. This one person could ruin everything Gaara had fought for, all of it by a few simple words.

He heard gasps and was torn from the thoughts as he glanced to the battlefield, both boys on the ground, still. He glanced back and the man and little boy were walking away, hopefully for good, he could only hope. His sand collected as he appeared in front of the boys, both face down he had a small frown on his lips before he saw Misaki heaving, lifting himself up on his elbows pulling himself up to a shaky stand, his face scratched and many bruises forming but a lopsided smile on his lips as he faced the crowd, who began cheering loudly. Gaara smiled but could do little else; he looked to the Hokage who was on his feet. The medical ninja made their way over to assist Hideki. Gaara knew the other boy would be alright, he had just drained his chakra. Misaki reached out and stumbled to grab onto his father, Gaara reached out and steadied his son who was wavering.

"I am proud." He whispered quietly. The boys' seemingly tired eyes perked up, the smile growing. Misaki didn't care that there were hundreds of spectators he reached forward and wrapped his arms around his father's waist. Gaara couldn't help it either and he'd be damned if he was going to get the 'shinobi don't show emotion' speech, this was his son, he wrapped his arms tightly around him the pride swelling over taking the previous swell of anger and blood lust.

"Will you be strong enough or does Kakashi have to come and retrieve you?" Gaara asked. Misaki shook his head and dropped his arms.

"Who was that guy?" Misaki asked quietly glancing over to the open doors then back to his father who had visibly tensed.

"No one, get moving the next battle is to begin." He scowled at his son before looking into the crowd. The next two contenders were of the sand village Kenta Masaru and Rokuro Sho, Gaara called both names he could no longer stay focused, his gaze continued to fall onto Misaki, who was now beside Kakashi and then to Shion, he was worried for them, for all of them. The arrival of him meant way too many things that he couldn't think about right now, not while he had so much going on. He stayed where he was as the two ninjas made their way down, he stepped back, his body however moved automatically, he was in a haze, it would seem, just able to watch. He couldn't even react when he heard the boy on the floor scream. He lifted his hand, the sand collecting and forming around the screaming figure on the ground.

"Stop." He ordered as he approached. The other backing off as he did, the boy on the floor was bleeding profusely. He motioned for the next set of medical ninjas to come over; he wouldn't make it if this continued. The sand around him fell and collected. Gaara stepped back to get out of their way. He felt sick at the sight of this boys blood, he hated seeing this, because this wasn't what this was all about, although people felt it was. He always questioned when someone would say "this is the way of the shinobi" he remembers when he himself believed bloodshed was all there was to it, now he despised the sight of it. He felt the long reign of peace their village had been experiencing would soon come to an end.

"This match has been won!" He shouted to the crowd, whose screams had filled the entire arena. The very last match was between Suzume Nara, Shikamaru's son and a single ninja from the sound village named Yamato Asuka.

'He's back to take what's ours'

Gaara's eyes widened at the voice in his head, no not now. This couldn't happen now. Gaara's hand flew up, tangling in red hair as he tugged, his head dropping forward. He stumbled back, before he felt someone touching his shoulder, holding him still. He turned and saw the last person he'd ever expect, Neji a look of concern on his usually expressionless face.

"Go, I can take care of this." He murmured to Gaara, who only nodded.

"He's returned to take what is ours."

Gaara grit his teeth as the voice echoed in his head. Not now, not here. Gaara had always claimed to have control over Shukaku, only to keep the villagers and Naruto at ease. He was barely holding on by a thread, almost always getting lost, losing it. He lost his grip every day, and with the arrival of him it would only get worse, he had to get out of here. He ran towards the doors, scared to use his sand, although if he lost his grip on Shukaku he wouldn't have control over it anyways. He could breathe again when he was just outside the arena doors.

"Are you alright Gaara?" One of the guards who stood at the doors asked. Gaara just waved him off before making his way down the road. He brought his hand up to rest on the tattoo above his eye, fingers brushing across it.

"You're going to kill him."

Gaara hated the monsters voice, vicious and cunning, always sending shivers up his spine.

"No I won't." He muttered, thankfully everyone was in the arena and not around to see him talk to himself as if he were insane.

"We will taste his blood and like it, you will remember how good it feels to take someone's life, you will remember life before that dreaded fox and those brats he forced upon you."

"He did no such thing." He kept his voice low. He felt Shukaku's pulse pick up, his blood boil. Gaara stopped, closing his eyes and rubbing his palms to his eyelids.

"I will not put this village in danger again." He growled quietly mostly to Shukaku. He opened his eyes, his own chakra over powering Shukaku's for now.

"He will not leave this village; he will claim it was his before it was yours."

"It was." Gaara told him. Gaara said nothing more as he made his way to his home, somewhere he could hide. He hated feeling weak, something he rarely felt but when Shukaku threatened his very being, and the lives of the villagers he felt extremely weak, like he would fail. He couldn't risk it all; the village, the people, Naruto and his children, he wouldn't put them in danger for something he couldn't do, but he couldn't leave, he couldn't return home and leave everything he'd created here behind.

Hours later Naruto arrived with Shion to their home, he'd started worrying when Gaara hadn't returned within the hour of leaving, assuming he just had to do something. Misaki made his way home, the injuries from battle looked much worse than they were. He knew how much Naruto worried about Gaara, he was old enough to understand what Shukaku was, and how he wasn't caged like Kurama was. When he got inside he heard his parents fighting, which was one of the most unlikely things Misaki had ever come home to.

"You need to make him leave." Gaara tried not to yell.

"Make him leave? Are you insane?" Naruto didn't mind yelling. Gaara stared at him, annoyance painting his features. He shook his head, fists clenching, teeth gritting. He couldn't understand Naruto at all.

"Is he so important to you?" Gaara asked crossing his arms.

"Yes." Naruto muttered before pushing past Gaara who glared after him.

Misaki waited until after his father left the house, the front door slamming to come out of the place he was hiding.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Nothing important." Gaara murmured as he forced on a smile for his son. "I have to go check on your brother." He quickly made for the stairs and up to his youngest sons room. He didn't know what to do, how was he to win against him? He made his way into the nursery; Shion wasn't sleeping probably awoken by Naruto's shouting.

"Shion." Gaara smiled as he approached the boys crib. He reached down at the little boy who made grabbing hands at him and picked him up. "I won't let him wreck this."

"Dad?" Misaki stood in the doorway. "He won't leave right?"

"He'll have no reason to after I'm finished." Gaara turned to smile at him. "Here, watch your little brother don't leave the house."

He pressed a kiss to Shion's head as he approached Misaki who took his little brother into his arms. Gaara brushed the hair from Misaki's forehead and brushed his lips against his skin before stepping around him and into the hallway.

"I'll be home soon." He murmured as he made his way downstairs. He was seeing red, nothing else, not reason, not logic he had one thought on his mind and it was to kill the one person who was here to ruin everything, ruin the life he'd built, the memories he created, he was here to take it all from him and thrust him into loneliness once again, but he couldn't go back to that, he swore to himself he wouldn't he was going to do what he should have years ago, kill Sasuke Uchiha.


	4. Chapter 4

_Fingers shook._

_Breath hitched._

_Bloodlust rampant._

Gaara stalked through the village, his blood boiling, the villagers who greeted him with warm hellos were brushed off and ignored. He needed to sink his fingers in flesh, pull him apart. Shukaku's heart pounded, Gaara's rage triggered the transformation and he didn't care, the sand beginning to collect to his arm, he needed to find him. A laugh escaped his lips when he spotted the raven haired man, not surprisingly along side a blonde, the boy with them as well. It made Gaara more upset, they were playing some sick version of house. He was quiet, somehow not letting a sound rip itself from his lungs, all the rage begging him to just shout. He watched from the surrounding trees, he stayed crouched as he listened in on the conversation.

"I love him too you know, it is possible." Naruto murmured. He loves you too. Gaara's fist clenched as he listened, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. He watched the little boy, who was in awe of Naruto it seemed staring up at him, his mouth open; it only fueled the fire that was swallowing Gaara. The growl ripped through his lips as the first step of the transformation was complete, jumping down from the tree and landing on his hands and feet before the clawed arm reached out for Sasuke fingers wrapping around his torso, claws digging in. He smiled at the gasp, the sounds of struggle the shout from Naruto, the cry from the little boy's lips as his father was lifted in Gaara's grasp.

"Gaara what are you doing?!" Naruto shouted at him.

"What I should have done…" He growled, voice changing. "When we were just children, on that battlefield I should have killed him."

"You can't!" He all but screamed.

"I can, because you can't leave me for him, you can't leave our sons for him." Gaara continued to shake his head, the sand crumbling as his fingers shot up to tug. He stumbled back, the force of Shukaku's rage shuttering through him. He listened as Sasuke hit the ground, the sound alone satisfying Shukaku for a moment.

"I'm not leaving you!" Naruto shouted as he made his way to Sasuke's side, fingers sliding to hold him up. Gaara all but growled.

_Run._

_Leave._

_Run._

Gaara couldn't kill Sasuke if Naruto was in the way, Gaara could fix this other ways. He smiled as he raised his hand, his body now facing the boy. He didn't care that this boy was innocent, or a child he wanted him dead, the closest thing to Sasuke Uchiha he smiled as the sand rose around the boy, collecting from the earth. He closed his hand as he whispered the words, the sand bending to his will closing around the boy. He didn't even have a chance to blink before Naruto had him pinned to the ground, the sand falling, the boy crying.

"What happened?!" Naruto screamed as he hovered over Gaara.

"Him." Gaara murmured, eyes wet with tears, he tried to will them back, and he didn't deserve to cry. "I'll take our children, I'll leave."

"You hurt an innocent child for something Sasuke didn't even do!" He cried, voice already sounding horse.

"You said you love me too." Gaara whispered. "You love Sasuke."

"No. That's not what I meant." He grit his teeth as he glared at the man underneath him.

"Yes it is!" Gaara shouted sending Naruto flying back as his hand slammed into his chest.

The smile that painted his face was not of love or concern it was pure evil, like the smile he used to wear when his purpose was to kill everyone until he was the last on earth, the greatest shinobi. He both despised and loved the feeling that was flowing through his veins. It felt as though his heart was breaking, Naruto was defending his former love, what else was Gaara to think? Perhaps their children meant nothing, their life they built here meant nothing to him, but how could that be possible? He wouldn't just start a life to wait for his old one. His shoulders stiffened at the thought, his breathing growing rapid.

"You should choose now." Gaara growled, his fingers tightened into a fist, they began to shake as Naruto hesitated. "You have two sons incase you have forgotten, because they haven't."

"Am I no longer precious to you?" His eyes shone with tears. Just the word triggered thoughts, painful memories he didn't want to relive.

What am I?

The images played through his head on a constant loop.

Freak.

"That's not it." Naruto murmured, Gaara wasn't watching him, his eyes landed upon the little boy, who finally got up the bruises starting to form on his arms as he ran to Sasuke who was sitting up, watching with a hopeful look in his eyes, Naruto was going to choose him. The thoughts of killing him multiplied and then disappeared at one word.

"Dad?" Gaara turned quickly; Misaki stood with Shion in his arms, the baby reaching arms out to Gaara, hands opening and closing as he used actions for words. Gaara was already on defense at the thought of Sasuke near his children. He quickly turned and walked towards them before kneeling to the floor, a hand reaching out to touch Misaki's shoulder, a smile on his lips as Shion put three pats on his cheek before putting the hand into his own mouth, something he did often. Gaara sighed loudly before standing up; he had to make a choice even if Naruto wouldn't.

"What are you doing here? I told you to stay inside." Gaara murmured trying to sound authoritative only managing to sound defeated, he shook his head trying without cause to get the tears to stop forming and filling his eyes.

"You didn't sound okay." Misaki looked up at him then over to Naruto, then to the two behind him. "Is that the guy?"

"Which guy?" Gaara asked, head tilting automatically.

"The one dad was talking to Sakura about." He glanced back at Gaara, noticing the tears forming, his father rarely cried in front of him. Gaara stiffened before turning to face Naruto, a glare painting his face as he shook his head, no words would form, could form his disgust and anger. He turned back to his children before reaching down for Shion.

"Dad!" Misaki screamed before the sand shot up acting as a barrier for the attack Sasuke had tried and failed to inflict on him. Gaara's fingers tightened around his youngest as he pulled Misaki by his shirt closer, he needed to protect them both even if Naruto wouldn't.

"Gaara!" It was Naruto's voice and for some reason it surprised Gaara. He wasn't going to back down now, not when the lives of his children were at stake. He glanced to see Naruto behind him, something in his eyes he couldn't name.

"You may not choose me but you have to choose them!" Gaara shouted before raising his free hand, the barrier of sand acting on instinct to protect Gaara. The sand he created from the Earth rising. "I suggest you leave, Uchiha before I end you."

Gaara felt a hand on his side, glancing down the tattered hand of Naruto resting there. The fingers applied pressure, on the tips.

"I can make him stop, don't do this." Naruto said quietly. "Sasuke!" He shouted quickly before the hand was off Gaara's side, he couldn't even have the chance to blink before Naruto was in front of the wall of sand, his hands on Sasuke's shoulders pushing him back. The sand fell as the threat was forced back, he felt Misaki's fingers grip at his coat. Shion had his face buried in Gaara's neck, hiding from the chaos. He watched Naruto continue to push the Uchiha back, the little boy watching from the side, eyes wide.

_Don't._

_Do._

_This._

Gaara watched their movements stop, watched Sasuke's eyes full of hate dull down to numbness and slip shut as Naruto pressed their mouths together. Gaara rarely ever let shock over take him, but as his mouth fell open he couldn't change what people saw.

"What?" Misaki asked the tremble in his voice evident.

"He made his choice and it wasn't us." Gaara muttered gently plucking Misaki's fingers from his coat, before motioning to the forest, his son nodded understanding as Gaara quickly turned holding Shion close as they took off into the forest, he couldn't be upset not in front of them.

"Dad what's going on?" Misaki finally asked after too many moments of silence.

"That was Sasuke Uchiha, you know the one your father spoke to Sakura about, always speaking so highly of him although he left, and he joined the Akatsuki."

"Dad loves him more than us." Misaki didn't ask.

"We're going home." Gaara told him as they stopped in front of their house, it wasn't their home anymore.

"Home?" Misaki asked as he slowed down.

"Sunagakure."


End file.
